


A Child's Heart

by thedearqueen



Category: Death Note
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-22
Updated: 2014-09-22
Packaged: 2018-02-18 08:23:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2341592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedearqueen/pseuds/thedearqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A child's heart is more complex than any man's combined. Semi-AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Child's Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to make something for Near's birthday, but it somehow morphed into this little piece right here. I hadn't seen anything like this done before, so it was a great challenge and I had a lot of fun doing it. For future warning, L follows many of my headcanons in this (personality-wise), so to many he may be a little out of character in this, so please don't focus too much on that! I hope you enjoy.

 

 

\- -

 

On a cloudy day, the sun sat high over the charming foundation that was Wammy's House. The institution was quiet inside the classrooms and hallways, but the a soft chatter could be heard from behind two glass doors. High noon meant the children who occupied Wammy's were enjoying lunch inside of the lunchroom.  
  
Boys and girls of all ages sat well-behaved at their tables, taking the food from their plates and attempting to eat all while they kept to the entertainment classmates. All were in good-spirits, energy high and eyes bright; all except for one boy in particular.  
  
Mihael Keehl ― just under four years old with his life already, absolutely, determined ― sat slumped against his table. His ice blue eyes were dull and were filled to the brim with exasperation, as per his normal grumpy appearance. Not a single sliver of food had been touched on his plate, and not a single word had been uttered past his tightly knit lips. He sat there, brooding to the wall and angrily swaying his stumpy legs into the air.  
  
This was the usual for Mello (the name he had chosen for himself), and even the toddler found his routine of grumpy behavior to be boring; but as he glanced around to the children beside him, he remembered just why he stayed this way. They were all blabbering meaningless, excitedly talking over toys and games. He enjoyed those things all the same, but eventually the endless repetition became too much. There was no excitement, nothing intrigued him. So he continued to stay to himself, completely slouched against the table and hope that lunchtime would end soon.  
  
“You'll never guess what I just heard!”  
  
Mello's dull eyes suddenly gained a curious luster as a shrill voice boomed from a neighboring table. No one around him seemed to notice in the slightest, but his attention was caught immediately, his head turning just enough to take view of the oldest group of Wammy's. They were crouched around their table, boys and girls alike, engaged in a discussion his could barely understand. He pressed closer, trying to catch anything they could from this particular conversation.  
  
“What? You're joking.”  
  
“Watari found him this morning, he's here now!”  
  
Mello's eyes grew with revelation. _'A baby..? There's not a baby...'_  
  
“Someone said his parents just left him on the side of the street.”  
  
“How awful!”  
  
“Yeah, but what if he's not gifted? Watari should have never picked him up.”  
  
“Guess we'll just have to trust him, huh?”  
  
The more each teenager spilled out, the more Mello began to drift into his own thoughts. A _baby--_ What was so special about a baby?  
  
“Besides, Watari's never been wrong before. Everyone he brings always turns out to be great at something.”  
  
“But a baby? How can he even properly assess it?”  
  
The comment brought by one of the girls, a really snooty girl, was true. For the first time this entire lunch period his attention was pointed to the other bodies at his table. They were always placed in their age groups no matter what they did in the orphanage. They were the youngest group, so the majority stood beside Mello at three. There were a few that were only the age of two, like Mail Jeevas, a recent new-comer and the only other toddler Mello associated with, but he and the rest like him were the cut off point.  
  
“Who knows. I bet he has something in mind.”  
  
“Watari and Roger agreed to any of the oldest see him during break!"  
  
“I'm going. Maybe we'll get to see what's so special about him.”  
  
The conversation left as soon as it came. The older group switched to who did best on the recent test scores and their future career decisions, but Mello remained stuck on the last lingering sentence. It could be met? His eyes were wide while he stared into space, and ideas prodded his mind. He had the same doubts as several of the older kids; just what was so brilliant about a baby? 'It probably can't even sit it's head up...' The young blond thought with a small scowl. What if this new baby would be getting all of the attention from here on out?  
  
It had taken Mello several months to become adjusted to life at Wammy's. Being abandoned himself had left the toddler bitter and unapproachable. He refused to cooperate to any of the best teacher's attempts, and for a while they feared his intelligence would be wasted by his hostile behavior. But Watari had never given up. With enough patience, Mello had slowly settled into his life, and took up an interest in books. It grew to his ability to excel in every class, leading over everyone his age by a surprising jump.  
  
Despite his early age, Mello determined that he wanted to know everything who could, more than anyone else. And he had done just that, but now a new presence was infiltrating, and it left a bitter look on the toddler's face. 'I have to see this baby...'  
  
\- -  
  
Lunch had ended for the students of Wammy's, and instantly the classrooms were once again filled with the sounds of cognition. Every child sat in their designated desk inside of their designated class and behaved to the very best expectations; all except for one boy in particular.  
  
Mello sneaked quietly down the hallway. Getting out if his class was easy enough; ask to use the bathroom and scream at the teacher when they dared to accompany him. Then he was free to make his very to the common room, where his target currently resided. His movements for skittish, listening to every sound and hiding immediately behind whatever he could. He couldn't get caught, or else he'd be taken back to his room and he'd never be able to make it, so his small legs were quick to jump. But as long as hiding took, the open-footed entrance came to Mello's view within minutes. 'If Roger's in there he'll will make me go back, so I better make a plan outside..' He thought, maneuvering himself behind the door frame so that his ear. Quietly and carefully, he listened.  
  
A old male voice raised to his ears first amongst a gaggle of teenagers, and Mello recognized it to be Watari. His voice was kind and dignified, hushing the others almost immediately. "You've all been invited to meet our new resident because of his very special case." Watari spoke, and the blond toddler was finding it increasingly difficult not to want to peak inside. "Please remain calm when approaching him, for he is very young and can not handle over stimulation." His command was simple enough, but an outcry of questions and excitement came filtering out of the room.  
  
"Where is he from?"  
  
"How old is he?"  
  
"What's his name??"  
  
"He's so tiny!"  
  
"He isn't acting like a normal baby."  
  
"Why is his hair so-- strange?"  
  
The questions kept coming, forming into a large surge of interrogation all brought by a simple little baby, and Mello was already stomping his foot in irritation. "I should be the one they ask questions about... I'm the best one!" He murmured under his breath, small arms crossing against a huffing chest.  
  
"Now now," Another voice, Roger this time, called to calm them, and Mello's pouting ceased in order to listen. But the voice that had interjected stunned Mello to stillness. The voice was impossible not to recognize, for it was the single most treasured voice through Wammy's. It was L.  
  
"We'll get to all of your questions one at a time." The one-toned voice called to the increasingly intrigued teenagers, "But for now we're going to simply let each of you see him, so line up."  
  
The lightening fast shuffle to stand one behind the next could be heard from outside the common room, but Mello wasn't listening. His tiny form was shaking, two hands curls into little fists and eyes glaring daggers into the wall. The baby had gotten even L's attention. No matter how well he did Mello was only about to speak to L on small occasions, but this baby had gotten it without even trying. Mello was so furious little specs of water had gathered in the corner of his eyes. "It's not fair..." He growled with a tremble in his voice, "It's not fair!"  
  
He couldn't stand it any longer; without thinking he ran into the common room, the line of teens being the only thing he saw as they blocked what he assumed was L and /the precious baby/. He stood there in the same rage-filled position, nostrils puffing out air harshly and ready to explode.  
  
Watari and Roger stood to the side and  where the first to look shocked at his presence. "Mello!" Roger called, "What are you doing out of cla--"  
  
"--It isn't fair! Why does that baby get any attention at all!" Mello shouted at the top of his lungs, turning the teenager's heads to him. "Just because that baby was- was left on a /street/ he gets to be smarter than /me/! And gets all the attention!  
  
He shouldn't come here! Take him back!" The small tears had morphed into a stream down Mello's inflamed cheeks, and his arm now pointed to the invisible baby stood in the air, firm and accusing. "He doesn't get to take my place!"  
  
Mello's voice echoed through the painfully silent Commons as the tiny figure had no longer been able to speak due to the tiny sobs now spilling from his body. Roger had came up behind him arm reaching to his shoulder, but Mello angrily nudges his hand away, now crying in his hands. Nothing could stop his crying-- until a voice came from behind the group of children.  
  
"Mello?" The very voice that had set him off had silenced him. The line of wide eyes broke just after he asked the solitary question, separating both ways to allow Mello first vision of him in what had been months. He saw the raven-haired teen, who was only years ahead of the rest, sat down in a chair in the center of the room.  
  
He looked the same as always; dull grey eyes posed in a bored expression with his thumb nestled between his lips. But instead of his normal seated position, his legs were down and secure against the floor, for situation in his arm was a bundle of cloth. Mello tried to see inside it from his length away, but instead he caught L's eyes that welcomed him. "Why don't you come see what's supposedly taking your place."  
  
Rubbing his eyes to remove the blurring tears, Mello stood still and quiet. The baby was only steps away, inside the blanket. Did he want to see his own replacement? His hardheaded attitude caused him to quickly refuse, turning his head up at the offer; but it didn't last. The temptation was too strong, and with a hard pull from himself had small legs rushing to L's side. He grasped the smooth chair handle, tugging himself up on his tip-toes. _'Just.. One look..'_ One look and he'd never want to see it again. Peeking past the bundle of blanket, Mello revealed the object of his dis-contempt, and his eyes shook.  
  
"This, is Near."  
  
Inside the soft fabric was a tiny pale snow-white being who looked almost as soft as what he was wrapped inside.  He didn't move, he didn't whimper. only did the porcelain infant blink his large black eyes every so often. Mello peered closer in disbelief; he thought that everyone was playing a trick on him. There was no way this little thing wasn't just a tricking toy.  
  
He was ready to scream at the cruel joke, but just then a small hand rose from it's bundled sanctuary, a tightly-wound fist waving ever-so slowly in Mello's vision. He watched Mello's every move, and yet he didn't seem interested. The toddler had never seen a baby up close and personal, but he was sure they weren't supposed to act like this. The baby seemed too hollow, too indifferent. He seemed too much... Too much like L...  
  
With the sudden connection his face and mood had turned crest-fallen, something L had easily picked up on. He switched the weight in his arm to the next, speaking only after the new thumb had been situated in his mouth. "You're troubled, I see." He spoke down to the toddler. There was no response however, as Mello seemed to be fighting more tears, but his head eventually came up in defeat.  
  
"I get it.. The baby wins.." He sniffled, turning away from the pair. "The dumb baby can get all the attention forever.."  
  
Mello remained out of sorts, unsure of whether to cry or run away, but he wasn't going to stay in the room any longer. He prepared to start towards the door, keeping a brave face through the hushed whispers of the children surrounding them, but as his lower lip began to quiver a hand caught his shoulder. The touch caused his trembling to worsen. L wasn't supposed to care about him, only the baby-- so why had he caught him?

 

“Everyone, I'd to have a have a word alone with Mello.” Mello hung his head as L called out to the room. His word was rule, and the two elders made it a quick process to usher everyone out, leaving only L, the silent infant, and the stone-faced toddler alone in the large marble room.

 

“So, you've decided to give up then.” L murmured in thought as Mello had given him a hesitant regard once more. “Well if you've made up your mind then I suppose he _will_ get all of the attention. Isn't that right, Near?” He poked at the bored-looking baby's moving fist, and feigned ignorant of Mello's quick reaction.

 

“No!” He snapped, arm flailing in a haphazard routine. “That's not what I want!” His voice was once against filled with the fiery determination the toddler always possessed, but it quickly extinguished with a sudden rush of insecurity. His shoulder drew in and his eyes made no notion for contact, with hands woven together tightly. “But... The baby looks so much like you... He's quiet, and he.. doesn't act like me.. So.. So...”

 

The young one started to tremble again, and L couldn't tell whether it was from anger or holding in his tears. Watching Mello try so hard to keep composure brought a small grin to his lips. He understood now what was going on in the small blond's head, and without missing a beat, in one swift motion, he reached out and laid a hand directly on his head. _'Children are such strange beings.'_

 

He waited for the glassed-over eyes to focus on him once more. There was confusion swirling in them, and it became harder to rid himself of the smile. “Mello, Near has no more of a chance to be my underling than you or anyone else.”

 

Mello blinked and blinked again. Everything bad thought about Near was just his a delusion? “..You aren't going to choose him..?”

 

“I may.” L countered, “But I may not. Everything is up to how hard you work as you get older.”

 

The spark of confidence grew back inside of Mello, fists eagerly wiping his eyes and grinning like he had never been seen doing so before. “So you're not choosing now?? I still get a lot of time to prove I'm the best kid??” L nodded, and every fear the Mello had washed away. A new-found determination washed over him, and a burst of energy sped through like a rocket. He ran around L in circles, chanting, “I'll be the best, I'll be the best!” As loud as his small vocal chords could carry.

 

L didn't try to keep up with the precocious toddler; that was too much effort; but it was settling to see the small fire back in his eyes. Mello was only three, it was true. He was already a demanding, temperamental child who knew nothing else but what he wanted; but just as Watari saw potential in Near, a mere infant, he had faith in Mello's abilities. Wait for the right moment, L snagged the toddler's black shirt between two lithe fingers, effectively pausing his celebration. “But before you exclaim your _superiority_ , I'd like to speak to you about something.” To give better insight, the blanket was pulled down, revealing more of the doe-eyed baby in his arms. “It's about Near.”

 

There was a pause for a moment. Quick to calm down, Mello had eyes on the white-haired child, already forming his sour expression once more. “What about him?” He asked his his head up, a smug tone in his small voice.

 

“Until Near reaches your age, he will be very frail. Almost like an insect.” The tiny fist waved in a particular motion as L spoke, and Mello couldn't stop watching him. It was like he was trying to speak through his hand, trying to tell L of his distaste for the comparison. “Small things could hurt him, and during this time it is very crucial for Near to learn, so that he will turn out as bright as his powers allow him.” L raised Near up from his lying position, almost like he was afraid to break him. The black eyes went straight for Mello's, and something made him step closer. “That is why I want you to look after Near.”

 

The daze of curiosity that Near had wrapped around Mello's attention tore away to L. He was speechless at first; how could he ask him that? “But-- But Near is my competition! If I teach him and make him safe he'll beat me!” Another temper tantrum was brewing, a small shoe hitting hard against the tiled floor, “Why can't you do it! Or Roger, or Watari! I don't wanna help _him!_ ” He gestured to the observing baby, giving him a sneer.

 

To help your enemy is automatic failure; that's what Mello had heard an older student say. He didn't want to fail, and now that he stood a chance he wanted to make sure Near never did. No matter what L would say, he was prepared to stand his ground and refuse. He turned his head, preparing himself to ignore any word, but just as he did something tugged on his shirt.

 

The grasp wasn't like L's previous one; it was small, but strong. In confusion his head went down to see, and a tiny fist greeted him. The fingers were curled so tight in his shirt they colored themselves white, whiter than their normal hue. “Near..?” Mello's tone was unsure, turning to the baby. He wasn't frowning, he wasn't smiling. He didn't cry or make any sound at all. His black eyes were vacant and did not roam. He didn't give any indication of feeling anything; and yet his grip was relentless. “Wh.. What is he doing..?”

 

L watched the two was close interest. It was peculiar; Near had been introduced to many others other the last several days, and he hadn't made any movement, let alone reach out for someone so confidently. The pad of his thumb pressed against his lip, staring down with wonder. “You may not want to be close to Mello-- but, quite possibly, he does.”

 

Mello seemed bewildered, “But-- But I don't like him!” He glowered directly at him to prove his point, “I don't like you!” This only made him pull against the dark fabric, and Mello turned speechless. “Why does he want to be around someone like me..? We're enemies!”

 

“Maybe Near thinks differently.”

 

As if searching for a confirmation to L's words, Mello stared long and hard at the infant. Still, there was no sign of any taking sides, but yet another tug was pulled against his shirt.

 

They shared a moment of silence. The two children monitored the other, not a single sound from either one. Mello seemed conflicted; his expression had softened, but there was still a hint of reservation. L shifted Near from his lap, bringing the attention back on himself as he adjusted the infant back into his blanket, Mello's shirt snapping back into it's neat order once he was forced to release. “As I'm going to begin traveling soon to solve my investigations, I won't be able to watch-over him as I have with you. Are you sure you won't look after him for my sake?” His owl-like eyes smiled down at him. “You're the first person Near has allowed to meet him, and in such a trusting setting. He must think you are truly intelligent.”

 

Mello watched Near; his eyes had finally focused elsewhere, onto L, but still his hand pulled in his direction. He took the moment to collect his thoughts, sorting out just exactly how he felt about protecting Near, about ensuring that he was successful. Mello looked into his eyes. They were so quiet, so calm. So different than his. _He really thinks I'm smart..?_

 

With a new ounce of strength Mello puffed out his chest, chin held as high and mighty as he could muster. “Fine, I'll protect Near, no matter what! I'll do my best to make him as smart as me, and I'll still beat him even when he is!”

 

L knew the toddler was completely sure of himself, willpower sky-high. He released a solid “good” and that was the end of it. With Mello assured and titled with a new job, he spent their last minutes of examining Near while asking endless amount of questions, even never leaving Near, even after he drifted to sleep. Their evening would end with Watari claiming Near and Mello, guiding them back to their respected destinations.

 

\- -

 

Mello's eyes shifted back into focus. He was unsure how long he had been sitting there, dazed, completely unaware to the world around him. For a moment he had forgotten where he was, until his blurry vision gave sight to the busted, dirty wall of his apartment, and New York's bustling sounds filtered to his eardrums.

 

Before now he had forgotten that memory; he was only a child, after all. He and Near grew up, and their destinies had made themselves very clear.

 

The small ticking of the clock caught his attention; he watched it's large arm move with barely inch with every second, until struck dead. It was midnight, January 26 th .

 

A wave of nausea filled his stomach, his mind understanding the grave importance of time and it's heavy presence; but despite this, Mello smiled. He laid back in the plush armchair, head rested against the back, eyed closed from the world. ' _I didn't live up to my word for a while'_ He thought with thoughts finally at ease, ' _But I am now, L. I'll protect Near with all I've got.'_

 

 


End file.
